When your candidate comes knocking on the door…

If you are OK about Austerity, Trident and the NHS, may I suggest one question to ask instead. If my prospective candidates appears at my house, I know I will. Monster Raving Loony aside, that is.

It’s simple. ‘If I wanted to start a business today and had no savings and no equity in my home, where could I go for a small loan?’ Few will know the answer: If they say ‘Banks’, grin in a sardonic kind of way, If they say ‘Credit Card’, suck your teeth in a low whistle; ‘Someone like Wonga’ remove them immediately to a place of safety, and call the emergency services.

At this point they will be floundering and conscious they may not get your vote. As a visual sign, blood will begin to drain from their face.

In the unlikely event, they keep your gaze and say, ‘Actually I know of an ethical lender called Fredericks which has a fund in this area.’ Kiss them on the top of their head and say; I will vote for you forever.

Following these guidelines will simplify your choice, make one candidate joyously happy, and make the other five curious about how a small charity like Fredericks can be so important in the life of their City.

Oh, and if this means that our next Prime Minister is called Nigel, don’t blame us.

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